Apparently I’m weird. Generosity that is – in my opinion – undeserved makes me uncomfortable.
A couple years ago in DDO, I mentioned that I wasn’t comfortable when guild-mates would log in a lower-level character in order to group with me. I log in whichever character I’m in the mood to play, therefore in my mind, so does everyone else. So when they’re on their high-level characters, I have to assume they logged in that character for a specific reason, so when they suddenly login a lowbie in order to group with me, it makes me feel more like I’m being pitied than anything else. Why should they sacrifice whatever they wanted to do just because I’m the low-level struggling to find a group? (Mind, this was two years ago when DDO had an extremely low population due to the subscription-only model.) The flip side is, as always, it’s so much nicer grouping with guild-mates over the General Public.
Yesterday I had another instance of generosity that I am still uncomfortable with today. I’ve been paying a little attention lately to some of the guild recruitment scripts over Global chat in Age of Conan. I narrowed my choices down to three, then got an offer to join one of them: Unforgiven. I seemed to click with them immediately, chatting away about games in general and my experiences in AoC. I had asked a few questions about earning money to Openedge over Twitter because I’m getting closer and closer to 40 when I can get a mount. Most MMORPG’s seem to give higher cash rewards for both quest turn-ins and drops so by the time you can get a mount, you have enough cash to buy it (or you’re not far from it). But so far in AoC I’m not noticing an increase in income in the low 30’s level bracket. Firjanon reached level 35 yesterday and has 21 silver to his name. Openedge says I pretty much need to get out there and just gather resources and sell the rares at the Trader. Ugh! Please tell me I don’t have to do that…
Anyway, I mentioned my concerns over mount finances in the guild hoping someone would have suggestions; preferably ones that did not involve grinding out resource gathering. One of the guild-mates told me to check my mail in about 20 minutes. Never mind that I had absolutely no idea how to check my mail or where the mailbox is (hey, turns out that Trader NPC is also the mailman and banker!) but I knew what he meant by that. I immediately replied with “Whoah, I’m not asking for money! Please don’t give me money!” and so forth. No use – the guy mailed me 1 gold to pay for a horse. Grrrrrr!
Why does this bother me? First, I just joined this guild. I don’t know them and more importantly for this discussion, they don’t know me. I haven’t earned the right to be given that much cash or anything else. Second, I always make my characters earn their own keep. I don’t use high-level main characters to fund low-levels alts. I might send the alts some items I find to help them along (gear or reputation tokens in LOTRO, for example) but never money.
For now, the gold is in Firjanon’s bag. If there is absolutely no viable method of earning the gold to buy his own horse at 40 other than gathering and selling resources, then I’ll use his gold and repay him once Firjanon is earning more. If Firj can buy it himself, I will simply return the gold graciously.
Regarding the gathering, not that I mind it every so often but let’s be honest: it’s boring and grindy. Openedge says gathering quests begin at level 20 but it was much later before I ever visited whatever town had them. Firj is 35 now and I still haven’t completed those initial quests yet. Part of the problem is a glitch I’m experiencing where Firj rarely will exit combat mode once a fight is over. I’ve even been in groups where the fight is over and I can see everyone else sheathing their weapons but Firj stays in combat stance. The only solution I’ve seen is to logout and back in. But I’m not doing that after every single fight. Gathering is not possible while in combat, so even when it occurs to me that I should stop by some nodes and gather, I can’t because Firj is stuck in combat stance.
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Ouch…yes, I remember that bug. There is a “sheathe” command (clickable icon) you can put in your shortcut bar…but, now I cannot remember if it worked or not?
As to the gathering…yes, a major grind, and can get annoying. I for one can do it for a bit, especially in the mornings (it is what I am doing in WAR right now, by jumping on an alt and getting stuff to sell…), but after an hour, I am done.
It is possible though.
Now, as to the generosity thing…I ALSO hate it. Especially if it is people I just met.
I understand you want to be nice…but, please, I feel I owe you if you do that, and I also prefer to play the game at my own pace and learn.
Now, if they want to teach me how to get money…cool. Just don’t give it to me.
Anyways, good luck out there, and believe me…30 minutes a day to gather is not that bad. Good downtime, and prevents the “rush to max level” syndrome that can happen.
I think you are perceiving their intentions wrong possibly. Some people, like myself, like to play lower level characters to be friendly and avoid ruining your exp.
This unfortunately happens a lot. Sometimes one annoys people or makes them feel like total noobs, beggars etc. if one is too generous.
Don’t feel too obliged – veterans in most MMOs don’t know what to do with their money and gear and are usually happy to get rid of some money or gear.
One must be also careful not to overburden people with too much good advice.
I decided to utilize a reverse psychology approach if someone is supporting me too much: I ask for much more.
=
@Thallian: It’s not that I worry about losing XP (if that’s what you meant?) by grouping with high-level characters. It’s more that if I login my level-capped character, it’s because I intended to do such-and-such instance, raid, whatever that needs that level-capped character. If I wanted to play a low-level, I would have logged him in to start with. So I have the mindset that all those other guild-mates also logged in their level-capped characters for a reason, and they had no intention of doing low-level content again, so when they change to their low-levels I can’t help but feel like they didn’t want to do it but they’re taking pity on the noob and running me through the lowbie content.
@Longasc: LOL, yeah I can see you doing that!
That’s what you get for actually being nice and semi-likable. If you were a complete and utter douche, then you wouldn’t have to suffer the horrors of random generosity!
Maybe your guildies thought it would be fun to play through some of the lower level content with a new guy? Maybe the guy just had tons of gold and could easily spare 1 to help someone out?
@SmakenDahed: Hey, you’re still alive? Cool! HA! I know, I know, I’m sure everyone has the best of intentions when they login lowbies or send gold. It just bothers me when I haven’t been in the guild long enough to get to know anyone enough that I feel I in any way deserve that type of help. Especially the gold thing. That happened less than an hour after joining the guild, and they’re giving me gold? They don’t know me from Jack… Guess I just don’t get that.
It seems to be common practice in AoC to provide the cash to new players for that horse, I’ve never been in a guild that hasn’t offered, my current alt didn’t get his until lvl 43, he earned it himself, he’s 58 now and still forgets he has a horse!
Generosity, in and out of game, can be uncomfortable when your on the receiving end, the thing to remember is the warmth it brings to those who give, it’s not necessarily a selfless act to give when you know you’re going to feel good about giving, it’s a two way street. A good guild community is all about sharing the love (however that may take shape).
When it dives down to greed and ego is when it all goes pear shape.